For the past year I have been working hard to get my Integrative Coaching business up and running.. but so far it's just“hanging” out there. It's up and running but I still haven't declared a niche- a specialty. For the past year I have been trying to figure out what my niche is or should be but the end result was looking stretched so thin on the site and in to many directions. With a new year I have decided to begin at the beginning and start with sharing my story as a means to show “you” what my niche or niches are...So here goes.
Since I am beginning at the beginning for my coaching site, I will start with the beginning where I believe my story or one of my niches may actually be.... I could just write that I am an organizer, great with paperwork etc... but those things are related to my attributes. I believe for this I will start with my beginning, the one that started the journey to becoming an Integrative Coach a long time ago....
I didn't know this journey would take me here...but now that I am sitting here thinking about where to start for “my story-part 1”... this is a good place as any....
I was an ambitious young female that was never going to get married. I was going to be married to my career and my four legged family members were going to be my children. Then it happened, I fall in love. It wasn't the lightening striking kind of love that comes with knowing as soon as you meet the person. It took time-- almost 2 years to be exact to know he was my soulmate and that at some pointing being friends with him I was madly in love. It was a surprise for me because not only did I realize I was “in love” with him but I also realized I wanted children along with the career etc. I was young, strong and thought I could make it all work. However, with everything in life, change occurred within me. I no longer wanted the career but wanted the family aspect more than anything. I wanted to be a stay at home mom... the hardest job in the world. Once married we thought we would be pregnant with no problem. See my sister and friends around us were getting pregnant with no problem so it won't be an issue for us. I was fairly healthy for a 27 year and he was for a 33 year old. Only issue I had was I could lose 10-20 pounds but other than that there shouldn't be an issue....Right?? Well, wrong and boy did we learn that...
Because apparently there was an issue. It was fun for the first year but worries and concerns started to set in upon the one year anniversary of marriage and trying for a family that we both wanted to so much. After the one year mark we decided to see a fertility specialist. We went through all the testing which was nail biting to say the least. My husband was sure it was him because he had measles as a child. However, it came back it wasn't him, he had high counts but overall he was fine. It was ME! That's when the world that I knew fall out from under me and my whole being stopped. I don't remember much after that because I was devastated, angry, and saddened to hear that it was me along with what the issue was-- Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS.
I thought I was ready for anything but not that apparently. At that moment I thought something died inside of me and that I was less of a woman because I wasn't working according to what nature and society says a woman should be able to do-- create and carry a child. The doctor was positive at first that it was just a matter of figuring out the treatment and that we would be pregnant before we knew it. This was in October 2005....It was hard-- at times I was depressed, at other times I would try to push my husband away enough that he would divorce me so he could marry someone else that was a “true” woman and there were other times I just wanted to give up. It was definitely an emotional roller coaster for me and my spouse. He was very supportive but it effected him too.
Between the medicines/shots, appointments after appointments, procedures and phone calls advising it didn't work again that month-- numbness sets in and disappointment etc... We were in the cycle of fertility treatments until April 2010 which at this point the effect on our relationship was showing. We were yelling at each other more than communicating, we weren't wanting to spend time with one another or friends/family members especially those with children and by this time it felt like we were robots instead of actual human beings.
Furthermore, the doctor wasn't as positive anymore either. The doctor was suggesting we needed a break and that during the break we needed to re-look at other options along with a much needed vacation. It was a blow but one we took. We knew we needed to re-look at our relationship to see if it was something we could even fix or if we even wanted to... and a vacation sounded wonderful.
About six months later, a twist of fate occurred-- I was pregnant. I was pregnant and I carried to full term a beautiful healthy little girl who is my heart to this day and always will be. She will be 5 at her next birthday and we have been trying again since her first birthday...
Infertility or fertility issues are never easy... For this time around there is more to it due to some health issues my spouse has been facing since daughter was 2 months old but we haven't given up hope that we will be lucky at least one more time... if not we are okay because we have our one miracle.
Only thing I wish that could have been different the first time around and even this time is to have a person with an understanding that could have been contacted to help me through the emotional roller coaster or to help us a a couple or to help us relax etc... Someone who could relate, understand and help ... It's a hard subject to talk about but to know there is or are others that would understand your infertility or fertility issues and could make your journey just a little bit easier would be worth it...right??
Hence, the reason I believe this is one of my niches.. and if you believe I could help you through your journey-- I am here! It's part of being a Integrative Coach--- helping you to create a beautiful life no matter where you are in your journey...
So if you would like a coach that understands the journey due to a similar experience please don't hesitate to contact me...
There is more to my story and part 2 will be posted shortly...
Certified Integrative Coach
1. Write out your goals and desires. In my classes we learned that goals should be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Action-based, Realistic and Time-oriented. We all have visions of what our wellness and health should be so by starting there we can begin the journey.
2. Ask what, when and how. Make a list of the hurdles that keep getting in your way of living a life of wellness. Then determine which ones are true obstacles – things that you need to work around or find solutions to along with the dreaded excuses. Anything that feels like a pit fall from previous attempts.
3. Have a plan. Most major tasks and/or projects have a plan in place so this should be no different. Make a plan for accomplishing your goals, as well as solutions for overcoming the hurdles. Be flexible, kind and compassionate while also having fun and making it active. Lastly, be specific about your goals and how you want to make them happen.
4. Start a journal. Great way to keep your goals, desires, barriers, obstacles, excuses, solutions and plan all together but remember this is your journal and should reflect you. Set it up so it’s easy to use so that you will use it and can find everything you may need fairly quickly. Lastly, include space to just let your thoughts flow no matter if it’s venting, rejoicing, celebrating or just writing your feelings. You’ll be amazed at how freeing a journal is and how much growth can be obtained but just writing it down.
5. Begin your journey where you’re standing now. Where are you right now, this moment, on your journey? Accept where you are and where you need to be and begin the steps necessary to bridge that gap. If, however, you find that old issues keep popping up, preventing you from reaching your goals, you may need to seek counseling. Sometimes the only way to move forward is to first go backward if needed but there is no time like the present.
6. Take one step at a time. What happens when a builder forgets an important step in building a house? Or a chef leaves out an important ingredient in a recipe? Doesn’t work so well, does it? It’s the same thing with your life. You must take certain steps in order to reach a place of well-being—and remember to make it fit your lifestyle. This is all about you..
7. Learn from your setbacks. Making mistakes and experiencing failure is all a part of being human and living. Rather than getting down on yourself, take that setback and turn it into something positive – something you can use to reach your goals. Sometimes life is indeed two steps forward, one step back!
8. Spend some time “cleaning house.” This is intended to be both literal and figurative. When our homes are a cluttered mess, it’s impossible to function well. Ditto for our schedules. Create a list of your activities and decide which ones aren’t contributing to your overall purpose in life. De-clutter the schedule and concentrate on those activities that bring meaning to your life, and ultimately to others that matter to you!
9. Stop comparing yourself to others. We’re bombarded by images of “perfect” bodies every day. It’s easy to get caught up in all of it and feel as though we’ll never measure up but reality is we are unique and there is no one else like ourselves so it’s time to embrace- love ourselves, enjoy what we have to offer and give because it’s enough. Also remind your self that what is seen on televisions, magazines etc., at due to great lighting, photo shopping, professionals such as mark up artist, surgeons etc. Not all of it is real Stop comparing yourself to a fantasy and just be the best you that you can be because in the end– that’s all that truly matters!
10. Reward yourself. It’s OK to feel good about yourself! And it’s OK, and beneficial, to reward yourself for your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. A date at the movies, a new outfit, a bubble bath and if it has to be food then may be a meal at your favorite restaurant… whatever you don’t normally take the time to do, as long as it contributes to your well-being, is an awesome reward!
You deserve to shine to the world who you are because you are amazing right now and right here… be healthy and well…
5 Elements Coach
Below is what should be consumed and examples….
Daily recommendation:4 half-cup servings
1/2 small apple
1/2 large orange
1/2 large banana (8 to 9 inches long)
4 large strawberries
¼ cup dried fruit
16 seedless grapes
Daily recommendation: 3 one-cup servings
1 large tomato (3” diameter)
1 large baked sweet potato (2 1/4″ or more diameter)
1 heaping handful of most veggies
2 medium whole carrots
2 cups raw greens (including spinach, kale, romaine, watercress, escarole)
Daily recommendation: 6 to 8 one-ounce servings
1 regular slice of bread
½ cup cooked oatmeal
½ cup cooked pasta or rice
7 square or round crackers
3 cups popped popcorn
(The USDA advises that at least half of all grains eaten should be whole grains.)
Daily recommendation: 2 ½ to 3 two-ounce servings per day
1/2 to 3/4 can of tuna
1/2 cup cooked beans
small 2-ounce steak
Remember these are just recommendations– loving your body the way it is… is the most important thing ever… HUGS